now THAT'S what I'm talking about

Sunday was a tough day for me. I had a ohmylordthisissounfuckingfair moment. I was in a decent amount of pain and frustrated by my limitations. I had a pity party about being 32 and having to deal with this crap the rest of my life. I left the kids and the hubs eating dinner, went into the bathroom, and cried. To be honest, most of the time I feel pretty darn optimistic about my situation. Sunday was not a great day.

Monday we took a day off from parenting and rested. I'm talking a quiet house, an entire cup of coffee while it was hot, I took a long shower while Emilio went running, a solo trip to Target, a relaxing lunch, restful day.

Somewhere near the end of the day I realized I had been pain free the entire day. I haven't been totally pain free since the beginning of the year. I told Emilio but didn't make a huge deal out of it.

Yesterday? TOTALLY PAIN FREE!!!! Yeah, I still have a little stiffness and my elbows are stubborn but ZERO PAIN!!!

This morning? I did not wake up doing the old man shuffle. I walked. Like a non-Arthritisy person would.

Maybe the medicine is starting to work. Maybe I really just needed a day to relax. Maybe the pain will come back but right now I'm enjoying every single pain free second.

I actually didn't realize how much the pain had started to wear me down until it was gone. I take my hat off to anyone who has lived with long term pain and stayed positive. It's tough.

It's Wednesday now and I'm back to feeling like I'm going to kick whatever it is I have in the ass. I'm back to feeling like I can do this. Maybe the pain will come back, maybe it won't. In the end, I'm stronger then it is. I am more determined to win. I may have bad days, I may have pity party days. None of that matters though because I am resolved to have more good days then bad.