rewriting my vows

I don't remember the vows I took on my wedding day. I remember the feeling of sweat rolling down the back of my legs (dude, outside in July in a wedding dress). I remember being annoyed with the Rabbi for making me put my ring on my pointer finger even though I told him I disagreed with the custom. But the vows, nope, don't remember.

I do remember the vows we took a year later, we we renewed them for our anniversary.

 

Look at how young we look!

I think that when you get married you have an idea of what it's going to be like and you may be right...until you have kids. So, nearly five years in, this is what my vows would be:

• I promise to love you always. 
• I promise to take care of myself and to hardly ever get annoyed when you push me to do a better job.
• I promise to learn to say I'm sorry instead of I'm sorry you feel that way.
• I promise to never stop being in awe of the fact that you watched me give birth, twice, and still think I'm pretty.
• I promise to laugh with you, daily.
• I promise to continually be proud of the father you are.
• I promise to remember that even in our worst moments, we bring out the best in one another.
• I promise to tease you every day about being crazy OCD man.
• I promise to do a better job of telling you how much I appreciate you.
• I can't promise I'll make the bed the correct way, or remember to clean the food off of my hands while I'm cooking before opening a cabinet, or to stop nagging you about leaving work earlier, or that I'll stop requesting we turn the heater up. What I can promise it that I'm in, 100%, good times and bad and that you will always be my lobster.

the husband knows me well

The challenge? Exercise four days a week.

The reward: money to buy Kindle books!

It is so on!

lessons in writing clearly

Recently, I read a student's paper and it said, "lately I've been dicking up my grades."

Shocked, I called the student over and asked why she had chosen such a phrase.

Her reply?

"That's a p not a d."

Whoops!

my kindle vs. my checkbook

I have an addiction. A couple of years ago...or was it a year ago? I have no clue, my brains are fuzzy on this one. I asked Emilio for a Kindle the anniversary of my life, or my birthday, if you feel like calling things by their real name. pfffft.

Being a loving husband, Emilio got me a Kindle. To be honest, I wasn't sure I was going to like reading on an ereader. I was wrong. So, so wrong. I love the thing. Love reading on it and LOVE that I can carry around dozens of books at a time.

There's just one small problem. I'm a fast reader. Like, read a book in a day, sometimes two kind of fast reader. My daddy taught me well. Sure, there are tons of free Kindle books but they aren't usually very good. Right now I'm trying to limit myself to one book a month. You can guess how well that's going. If I were single this wouldn't be a problem. But, I'm married. I'm married to a man who plans for our future and I'm sure if I were to tell him we could retire by selling off my ebook collection he'd laugh at me. A fitting response.

I know, I know. Most libraries are in the habit of lending for free. Methinks that at some point on Saturday Lyla and I will head off to the library, to get her a library card and to help me figure out what is up with their (seeming) lack of ebooks.

In the meantime, feel free to shower me with Kindle Giftcards!!!!!

(I'm totally kidding...kinda...)

a tale

Once upon a time there was a husband selected to attend a very important meeting, accessible by a six hour drive or a one hour flight. The husband opted to take a flight and the wife, being ever so supportive didn't mind at all that the meeting required the husband to be away for an evening. The meeting was oh-so important, after all.

The husband decided to have his mom drop him off at the airport so he could see his adorable babes before leaving. The husband came up with the idea of having the wife pick him up at the airport and bringing the babes along, so he could see them, even though they were sure to be asleep, as he landed after their bed time.

The night the husband was set to land, the wife dutifully checked the flight status on ye-ole' internet. Early. The flight would land 20 minutes early. Hurray! The wife bathed the babes, and lovingly packed them into the car, both were asleep before the wife reached the freeway.

As the wife drove towards the airport she realized that it was windy. Very windy. Windy enough to blow her heavy Volvo around on the freeway and to cause huge trees to be bent halfway over. "Hmmm," thought the wife, "this will make for a bumpy landing, I'm glad I'm not on the plane." Quickly followed by, "Please let the pilot be a super experienced one."

The wife, being most afraid of Los Angeles traffic, left early and decided to use her 15 minutes of extra time to get gas. When the wife pulled up to the pump and got out of the car, she was nearly knocked over by wind. Seriously.

After pumping the gas the wife realize she had a text. From the husband. The husband who was on a plane that had not landed.

"This can't be good," she thought. The text informed the wife that due to high winds and a power outage the flight was being diverted to Ontario, a 45 minute drive (without traffic) from the wife's current location. Being a loving wife, she got a Coke to keep her awake and began to drive.

Until another text came in. "We're being sent to Palm Springs."

"*^#*$^#Y$" the wife thought.

She replied, "I can't drive all the way out there? I'm going home."

A little while later the husband called, safely from the ground. After much discussion it was decided that the wife would go home and wait for more news from the husband.

(We will skip the heroics it took to get two sleeping kids into the house and then back to sleep because OF COURSE they had to wake up.)

The wife's phone beeped, indicating a new text saying the husband's plane would be taking off from Palm Springs and attempting another landing.

The wife called the husband and it was decided the husband's parents would pick him up.

At 11pm, the husband walked in the house, returning from his journey that should have had him home by 9. He found a toddler asleep in his bed, another toddler in her crib refusing to sleep, and a wife who was grumpy from fatigue but oh so thankful that the husband was safely home.